I say spank them
Hey, I would really like to launch into how pathetic teaching English in Japan is, but that's a one-note theme and it must be getting tiresome for you.
Ok, ok, here's the most recent crap about school:
The Dean, this older, seedy Scotsman, has decided to put his foot down about the TOEIC test. The TOEIC test is a measure of your communicative ability in international settings. Sounds good huh? But no, in Japan it is used for accreditation, and so people study the test like it is going to help them become really good at communication. Not so.
Like everything else the Japanese do, they adhere to the form of things, but not much on the substance (arguments can be made here about the notion of "what is substance exactly", but for now I think I'll leave this to your common sense).
Anyway, the dean gets up in front of us and says we have to do a better job at getting he TOEIC scores higher. He then hands around a sheet of paper with the current TOEIC test results. They are all way low for the most part, and then singles a few that got like 5 out of a possible 990.
Wow.
Well, it turns out the kids are forced to take this test as a requirement 4 times a year, paying $100 extra for each time they take it. There is no way taking the test that many times a year is necessary, nor are the scores going to improve all that much after like 30 hours of instruction (especially when the instruction is to go over the test items and then spoon-feed answers to the kids-- they can't memorize all the items, and they really have no background knowledge to really know any of the scenarios in which the language feature is presented, amongst other reasons why they can never get the language (one being they don't really care about it).
But the clincher is that the dean, in a stern face and in all seriousness said we must wake the students up when they fall asleep during the exam. That would be one 'drastic' measure to improve scores. The other was to scold them and threaten them if they don't do well, 'something' bad might happen to them.
At this point in this staff meeting, the first one I've attended, I just couldn't believe my ears. The bile started to rise in my gut, that sinking feeling overcame me, and I thought to myself "Why am I here?"
Later on, the vice-dean pulled me aside and said, "the Dean doesn't like you to make any more noise about the TOEIC test. It is very dangerous for you."
To which I said, "Dangerous? Look, there is nothing dangerous going on here. What can you or he possibly do to me? The only two options you have are 1) fire me or 2) kill me. I am not afraid of either of those options. But if you expect me to sit around and listen to this crap and pretend this is a serious matter, you're wrong. What is serious is the total whitewash you've given education at the university level. If these were your kids, would you put them through this crap?"
Admittedly, like most private universities, there is steep competition for the best students. Naturally, any student would go to the university that can guarantee a rosie future. Since our university is below average, it's very hard to recruit the good students, so you end up with the real lousy ones, and hence the lack of interest or ability in English.
But I mean, if you have to wake them up during an exam, I mean, what are they there for in the first place?
I say spank them. I think my young sex fiend friend would be happy to do that ;-)
Gaga | 10:56 AM
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